Mistaken Identities and Re-learning Your Spiritwork Truths

"I hope you'll make mistakes. If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something. And the mistakes in themselves can be useful." Neil Gaiman

We all mistakes; and if we say that we don't, we're just kidding ourselves. But there is something to be said from making mistakes. Without making mistakes - specifically, without learning that you have made a mistake - you can't learn from them. I had a hard time choosing a quote to illustrate this, which is why you got two; one to start you off, and one to think about at the end (no peeking!). If you go through life always doing everything right the first time, then you're not going to try anything else, you're not going to have new experiences, and you're not going to improve yourself as a human being. Undeniably, the same goes for spiritwork.

I spoke a little bit about this before, when I talked about how your relationship with a deity and what you think that you will get out of working with them/what they want of you can be turned on its head in a second. In that situation, it wasn't so much that mistakes were made as it was that circumstances had changed. And in a way, what I want to talk about today is also not a mistake, in every scenario. But this time, I want to talk about what can happen when an entity turns out not to be who you thought that they were.

To start off, I'll embarrass myself a little so that you don't feel bad: only in 2019 did I realise that a lot of past experiences which I had attributed to Morpheus over the course of my entire life were, in fact, the actions of Odin. It feels refreshing, actually, to admit this out loud and in public, but at the time I was screaming both internally and out. Because how could I make this sort of mistake?! At least, that's what I told myself. How could I call myself a spiritworker if for so many years, I thought I was dealing with one entity while I was also dealing with another?

When it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter who I was dealing with, because a change of identity did not - in this case - alter the core point of the experiences that I had. I still learned. I developed as an oneiromancer and as a diviner, in general. I grew into my abilities and found the confidence to call myself these things, as well as a spiritworker, because I learned skills that I did not have and I made mistakes that helped me to not make those same mistakes in the future. I'm able to talk to you about these mistakes, now, so that perhaps you won't make them, or you'll recognize that you have made them and can move forward.

This misidentification isn't always necessarily a good thing, of course. In my case, the error was mine - I made an assumption, and it suited Odin's needs not to correct me. But other times, the spirit may have lied to your either directly, or by perpetuating your belief. Odin never once said "I am Morpheus", but I believed the evidence added up to it being him, from my at-the-time limited studies. However, another example (also involving Odin, because of course it does) is the experience that I had a little over a year ago with Nyarlathotep that, for a long time, burned me and scared me away from spiritwork. That time, the entity in question went out of his way not only to hurt me, but to make me believe that he was Odin. And I paid a price there because now I have his fingerprints all over me and I have to live with that.

What you do when you learn that you have made a mistake, and that an entity is not who they said they were or who you think they were, is what is most important. How do you react? What steps do you take, and how to you learn from the experience? If you just chalk it up to being a "newbie" and laugh about it later and don't do anything to avoid it in the future, then I'll be blunt - you've wasted an opportunity. But if you analyze both what happened and how it happened, then you're going to develop a better intuition, perhaps a better godphone. Without taking action, you cannot have results.

So what kind of things can you do to deal with this scenario? First - communication. Communicate with the entities, and ask them why or how this happened. What led you to believe that they were who you thought they were? Why did they not correct you? Did this assumption harm you or hurt you? Did this assumption harm or hurt your relationship with the entity? Don't just ask questions, though; also share your point of view. Explain how you feel about the mistake or change. Explain whether it has hurt you. Explain how you came to the assumptions that you did.

Depending on how you learn you were wrong and/or the outcome of step one, you might want to think about warding. If you found out that you had been lied to or that you felt threatened - or even if you are not sure about things and want a safe space to think about it - there is no shame at all in banishing an entity from your spaces and setting up wards. If you come to the conclusion that the misunderstanding was malicious, keep those wards up. If you come to the decision that you can live with it or that it was accidental, or that it wasn't a truth you could know at the time and now you can, take them down and talk again.

Yes, I am always, and forever, going to use this blog to tell you to talk to your spirits. Talk, talk, talk!

And finally, what does this change mean for you? How do you want to proceed? Are there things that you have been doing for identity A that don't make sense for identity B? Do you feel as though you have been studying the wrong fields, and now you want to shift your focus? Or do you even want to work with identity B? Perhaps you felt as though you had a connection and a drive to learn about identity A, and you now want to reach out to the 'real' identity A? Maybe it's time to end the relationships completely, or maybe you just want to start using a different name and truth and continue on the same way. The choice should be between you and the entity. It is personal. But it should be addressed, and you should really think about any ways that you want to change your spiritwork, both with this entity and/or to prevent this from happening to you again.

And finally, there is a reason that this post is also about relearning "truths". Because what turns out to be false later was not, in a sense, false in the past. Bear with me here. You'll often hear people say this with regards to topics like sexuality and gender. "I thought I was homosexual, but then I learned that I was bisexual", for example. Deciding later on that you are actually not just attracted to one sex does not mean that you were lying before. It was the truth, crucially, as you knew it. The same goes for spiritwork. If you worked with a spiritwork for ten years and they never set off any alarm bells and you feel like you grew as a person, and then you find out that you mistook, say, the Morrigan for Odin... that's fine.

It was true - in a sense - that you worked with the Morrigan for those years, and that you worked with Odin. Those truths you learned about yourself during that time do not go away. Own them, own your experiences, and remember to take the wheel and be ready to both accept correction and adapt to it in a healthy manner. And you may well find that once you've learned where you went wrong, you've unlocked a secret that you didn't have before. So remember:

"To err is human, but it feels divine." Mae West
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